God must have known – October 2010

Written in 2010, I felt compelled to post this here tonight. I don't know who may need to hear this word, but I pray it reaches you where you are. Sometimes a simple unconscious uttering can reveal a great deal about our thoughts and true beliefs. I can't remember what was happening at this point in my life, but obviously something was "brewing." Blessings to you, whoever and wherever you are.

“God must have known” I needed what happened today. I got very good news that made me happy. I received two compliments on two separate pieces of work. “God must have known” I say…but wait, what am I saying…OF COURSE GOD KNEW! I have to stop and wonder, why am I saying that, do I believe that God is surprised by something or would NOT know what I needed?

This simple turn of phrase is something that many people, people of faith use when describing something good that has happened to them. Do we not believe Jeremiah when God says “the thoughts that I think toward you,... thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”? (Jer. 29:11) Throughout this past week I was able to believe that God had a sense of humor and irony, but I’ll admit I had difficulty believing HE had thoughts of good toward me, giving me a future and a hope. Why is that? What do I question about God’s nature and love toward me that makes it hard for me to believe HE did not see what was coming?

Although I am looking through a glass dimly, I am able to acknowledge that God is not finished completing what HE is working in me through this job. I can see that there are others that he wishes to bless through me, when I am ready to admit that and release the baggage I carry. I am beginning to see that HE has used the consternation of the past week to raise to the surface of my consciousness, my need to believe that HE is working all things for my good (Rom. 8:28); that HE thinks good thoughts toward me and has a bright future, but most of all that “HE knows the way that I take and when HE has tried me I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

I am challenged by the realization that I did not fully rely on God this week. Although it is understandable, I will own up to the fact that I wallowed in self-pity and disappointment for a bit too long. I cannot always change the way I feel, but I can always change the way I allow myself to think.

Father, I acknowledge my lack of faith in Your goodness toward me. I ask for forgiveness for not taking my thoughts captive, but allowing myself to dwell on the negative and entertaining thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and despair. I ask for forgiveness for wanting to whine and gain the pity of others for the challenge you set ahead of me. I thank you that you love me enough to place challenges ahead of me that raise my consciousness of Your will and Your plan for me. And I thank you for placing me, where I am with the promise that I have been brought to the kingdom for such a time as this.